We are doing it. Taking a real life, tropical mommy and daddy vacation.

We went on a long weekend to NYC last month. It was traumatic, but ok once I got out of Ohio. THe night we dropped Allie off at Mimis was rough. For mommy and for Allie. There were lots of tears. I missed her so much, I am not sure what is convincing me that adding more space and days to it is ok.

Its not really OK in my brain. I want to cry just thinking about leaving her for a whole 5 days. I will be miserable, and in a foreign country. No facetime there. But I NEED this vacation. Jason and I NEED this vacation to remind us of days past. Who knows if we will ever do another trip like this until Allie is 18. Or 30.

So tomorrow we are booking it. Sandals Grand Bahamian. With our dear friends, Erin and Kevin. Allie's Godparents. They will not miss her like we do. I will miss you little peanut. But when we come home we will have 4 days with you before we go back to work. And it will be ALLLLLLL Allie time. I can't wait to see you again, and I haven't even left yet!

Kids say the darnedest things....

"hat daddy!"

That's what she thought of the giant Browns bucket my husband was eyeing up. So he gave it to her and guess where it went? Duhhhhhh, on her head. I look at that picture and it warns my heart. We had drug her to kraynak's Christmas display 45 minutes from home. Bad idea going on a Sunday... 2 weeks before the big day. We didn't get to see the display due to overwhelming popularity. I think the only one who minded was me. Alyssa was just happy to spend the day with her whole family. Then we went to Marc's for groceries and found the new "hat". I forgot all about the display....

Starting over....

Ok so last post was a Debbie-downer, sorry about that. The beautiful thing about it is that in cyber land, I can get a do over! Since this blog thing is new to me, and I am new to it, let's start from scratch. I am a 30 year old pharmacist and mommy to my wonderful 19 month old, Alyssa May. She is the joy of my life and a big reason why I wanted to blog. I'm hoping that through blogging I can document all the cool things that kids do so that I never forget this time in her life (as well as mine). My husband Jason is a work from home daddy. He is be best daddy I could have picked for Alyssa. We spend our evenings playing with her and listening to her infectious giggle. Nothing like watching a 1 year old have a good time. It's hard to believe we could ever love her so much!

My one regret

So my first post. And I must say its not the most positive one to start with, but I need to get it off my chest as I embarq on this Christmas holiday.
Five years ago at this time, my husbands mom was very sick with lung cancer. We had just built our home, moved in and got a puppy. It should have been the happiest holiday thus far in our married life. We decorated to the nines, had a house full of people invited, deliciousness in the kitchen..... and then she arrived. The worst we had seen her, needing a walker to get up the 2 steps to our porch. She didnt make it, fell backwords and had to nearly be carried in. She had no wig on, no life left. A week later she was placed on life support and just after New Years, she was gone.
Fast forward 5 years. My daughter is 19 months old. She never got to meet her Grandma Sandy. We have a tree from Jason's cousin on our landing. On it are tiny snowmen ornaments that were Sandy's. Everytime Allie hits that landing, she is mesmerized by those snowmen. She nearly tantrums because she doesn't want to finish going down the stairs. And in that moment, each time it happens, I realize my one life's regret: that my children will never get to meet Grandma Sandy. I miss you Sandy. Even remembering your worst days, I miss you.